The Authenticity Gap - Why leaders whose actions don’t match their values will lose trust 

As a leader, who you are speaks before you open your mouth.  Congruence is the cornerstone of authenticity. So what is authenticity and how is it connected with congruence and trust? 

When our thoughts, words and actions are consistently in harmony, we close the authenticity gap. However, that does not guarantee we are trusted. Earning trust means that our inner and outer worlds work in unison. Integrity, values and actions are the internal factors supporting authenticity, while credibility and leadership behaviors determine our authenticity in the outer world. In the absence of unison between inner and outer worlds, we are perceived as untrustworthy, inconsistent and lacking in transparency. 

Our Inner World 

The first pillar of authenticity is Integrity. How do we define ourselves?  Are we clear about our identity? Integrity is a function of clarity about who we are and what we represent, but also acceptance of and pride in that identity. Without consistency regarding our identity, we do not project authenticity because there is a mismatch between internal and external self-perceptions. Acceptance of and pride in who we are is our self-esteem, a critical component for a good relationship with ourselves and others. Integrity is the other side of the authenticity coin and a prerequisite for authenticity. For example, telling people what they want to hear instead of what they need to know, means we are neither loved nor respected when the truth inevitably leaks out.  

The second is Values.  Values literally mean what is most important to us. Some examples of values are independence, security, power, benevolence, achievement, adventure, etc. Whether consciously aware of them or not, we act in accordance with our values. Alignment is the glue that bonds values with identity. Values drive our decisions and choices, and those decisions and choices drive our behaviors. For example, projecting power we don’t have results in inconsistent and unfair application of policies and many broken promises. The outcome? We become marginalized.  

Third is Action. There is no escape. Our thoughts lead to our feelings; our feelings lead to our actions; those actions determine the results we get. This chain reaction is not always under our conscious control.  That is why actions speak louder than words. Words lie. Actions don’t.  Authenticity is dependent on a perfect match between the two. For example, when we fail to advocate for employees because we don’t speak the language of strategy and finance in making a solid business case to upper management, we lose the trust of all stakeholders and with that, our leverage.   

Integrity + Credibility = Authenticity 

When our identity and our values are in harmony, we have integrity.  When our choices and our behavior are in sync, we have credibility.  That is what it means when we say that our inner world mirrors our outer world.  This combination of integrity and credibility shows up as authenticity.   

Our Outer World 

This brings me to the ecosystem in which authenticity thrives. There are fixed and variable elements.  The context in which the action takes place is fixed while the actors playing the roles vary.  Additionally, there is always an audience experiencing the drama.  

Great actors elicit trust – “the willing suspension of our disbelief”- through the authenticity and power of their performance.  We will only give our trust to those who deliver masterful leadership performances in the workplace. Leaders who have the courage to stand up and communicate the truth with clarity and conviction to employees and to upper management earn our trust and respect. Those who don’t become irrelevant.    

Let’s not neglect the nasty little leakages or metamessages. These can break any illusion of false ‘authenticity’ because the foundation of trust is not there. You say you are a leader who puts people first, but your actions tell a different story. You look but you don’t see. You hear but you don’t listen. You promise but don’t act. The metamessage tells the truth by breaking the illusion of a perfect performance.  

There is nowhere to hide. You are a bad actor who never understood your role. Bad leader-actors cultivate a toxic environment filled with gossip, inappropriate personal stories and flagrant favoritism.  The result is they are the last to know when things are going wrong or when key people are about to leave.  

Trust is an Ethereal Currency that brings the Inner and Outer Worlds Together  

Trust is like the “willing suspension of disbelief”.  We accept the performance as real when thoughts, words and actions match. “We do what we say, and we say what we do.” 

You trust your team when you know they will be consistent even behind your back. They trust you when they know you will defend them even in their absence.  

Closing the “Authenticity Gap” is having the courage to be unapologetically yourself.  Remember, trust is a privilege that can be withdrawn in a heartbeat.